Wednesday, 1 June 2016


This has been a bad week for TWUK's crack team of panning out theorists as the full heft and stench of the International Wipe-Out Gang's media machine shunted up a few gears and fired off both, a volley of theoretical ordnance; a salvo of 19th century liberal economics and some of the grubbiest journalism this side of Laura Kuenssberg all in the general direction of how things were panning out for the panners.

Dead iconic data shit
Data set proving the New Greed is crap
Dead accurate data proving Bono is a waste of space and that

TWUK has always pontificated about the importance of theory in society and that.  Way too many of today's New Greed theorists have abandoned loads of the methodological stuff that is vital if you're going to break both any new ground, wind and other elements of the wider society thing and that.

In recognition of this key theoretical clusterfuck, TWUK has been able to uncover both the Monarchy's role in this methodological shortfall on the POI (Panning Out Index).  E-mail traffic which, fortunately for TWUK has been intercepted by our outsourced boys in Langley as this twitter feed well and blatantly proves the link between the extremist, benefit scrounging, tax avoiding Windsores household and key, corporate entities in the New Greed's higher echelons.  In another EXCLUSIVE INTRUSIVE we publish excerpts from the very same twitter feed.  Judging by what a load of blokes said in a survey commissioned by Brock Fister (Senior Analyst, TWUK/Langley transitioning thing), a whole waste matter storm is brewing in the Westminster void and vacuum kind of thing.  "People are like, hopping livid and that about how objectivity and stuff has been tossed out of the window, regardless of the human cost and other tax breaks, by the 'hard centre ground', extremist commentators who would so casually disregard TWUK's extremely viable BRAXIT approach to the whole EU rendition thing." 

As you will agree, this screenshot blows both a massive, great, big, gaping, hole in the general state of journalism and the links between the Establishment blokes, the blokes at BBC and the way society and stuff is panning out right now.  There is a case to be made, especially when one is, like livid and that at, how not very objective loads of the blokes across the media outlets are.  Just saying like. . . . . . .Rueters

Tuesday, 24 May 2016

BRAXIT BRAXIT BRAXIT - An alternative EU panning out strategy - Another great TWUK EXCLUSIVE OBSTRUSIVE 

EU stuff starting to get 'interesting' - non-binary issues predominate referendum so 'Third Way 2' 'block' invoked by bloke issuing a mandatory 'blocking thing'. Three horse race from now on.  TWUCK reports and both does the math.

Readers of TWUK will both be shocked, confused and discombobulated about the recent announcement by the Non Binary Issues Campaigning Forum Ltd. (NBIFL for short) that there will now be a third option on the EU referendum voting papers. The electorate will have democracy extended and that by 33.33% (one third of one percent) with this dead iconic announcement.  This represents a historic rise in the way referendums (sick)  (the internationally recognised, grubbiest form of 'democracy') in general pan out in this post political age and that. A big bloke representing NBIFL (Non Binary Issues Campaigning Forum Ltd. in 'longhand') said yesterday outside a local community sperm bank that, "It's over for the inners and outers. BRAXIT is the new way and that.  BRAXIT's gonna wipe those binary twats off the map and deliver the rest of us into the land of both milk, honey and Vicodin.

Today, news of this BRAXIT third option thing reached Downing Street today and as well as this was both immediately factored into George (the sneeze) Osborne's latest 'rebalancing of the economy guff'.  Seen here busy at work and that we see the image of both a broken man, a broken economy and a broken biscuit.  At best, crumby and at worse, both flat, boring, and  blatantly not iconic enough to pass mustard in a post political world and shit.  A world where we are all held to ransom by the sheer heft and stench of News Corpse as well as other blokes like the old one that heads up the Corpse himself. In addition there is also the ever present threat of stuff panning out wrong and that due to all the terrierism on the street causing loads of shit to go down.  It's been years since George W Bush declared war on terrierism but it seems that what this whole conundrum is, is that the EU referendum thing seems to have caused people in society and that to re-evaluate the way stuff seems to have been panning out in both of the economic, sociological and molecular spheres over the last few years.  As, foreign correspondent, Brock Fister reported last week in one of his as yet unpublished Nostrums from the Edge "The whole non binary thing is taking up loads of my research time and I worry for the future of how loads of stuff is both likely or not to pan out in both a post-political context and shit.  The analyses that me and my crack team of fully trained sociologists have come up with doesn't look good for those ten sandwich eating, skin tight mandaory suit wearing business flunkeys that are tasked with the panning further out of both post colonial, pre global, massive corporatistical stuff and that.  The welcome and reassuring incontinental drift leftwards of both all of the centrally organised political organisations is basically a good thing and one what needs to be encouraged quite a lot." . . . . .(B.F. Pan #123a Rueters News Desk, TWUK Central)


Another TWUK EXCLUSIVE ABSTRUSIVE TWUK both publishes here today some investigative stuff about rip off Britain and that from  NEWS CRASHER 


The Real Price of the Long Term Economic Clusterphuck And That

Tory anger at ‘extortionate’ class A drug prices

A number of Conservative MPs have today complained about the recent above-inflation increase in the price of class A drugs, and have called for the Government to intervene in the narcotics market to ensure cocaine and other substances are affordable.

In an open letter published in the Daily Telegraph, a group of 38 Conservative MPs demanded action to tackle what they have called “the spiraling cost of the Class A drugs that are an essential part of right-wing parliamentary business”. Suggested measures include making drug expenses tax-deductible, providing an allowance for MP and Lords specifically for the purchase of drugs, or provision of subsidized drugs in Parliament.

Although not among the signatories of the letter, Chancellor George Osborne told reporters: “Even with the recent rise in my ministerial salary I am no longer able to afford a kilo of coke per month, unless I cut down other essentials like prostitutes or Champagne.”

Mr Osborne added: “Fortunately for myself and a number of other Conservative MPs, the recent influx of prostitutes from Central and Eastern Europe has significantly depressed wages in the sex industry, to some extent mitigating the price increase of other essentials.”

News Crasher News Desk and that.